Why I should be going to the G'ints game...
To whom it may concern, here's my 24 reasons why I should be going to the Giants/dodgers game on Thursday, May 26th '05.(can you believe I did NOT win this contest ?)
#1 If that old S.F. "soup" rolls in I do a serviceable version of a foghorn.
#2 Had a premonition that I'm destined to push Michael Tucker from the path of a run-a-way trolley car in rightfield.
#3 Writing a book on heckling & need to get the Giants fans takes on just how much the dodgers "apply suction".
#4 Looking to find a new home for my Jose Uribe Baseball card collection.
#5 I'm hosting a bonfire at Willie Mays Plaza to dispose of all existing dodgers AND a's/Giants combo hats/gear.
#6 Hoping to pump Kruk for insight on the quality of Tyler Walker's sinking fastball.
#7 Want to see famous S.F. streakers for ideas on what to pierce next.
#8 Hoping to catch a glimpse of the elusive "North American Kuiper".
#9 Can't wait to take in the scent of freshly cut "grass" wafting in from Haight/Ashbury.
#10 Gave my word to Lou Seal that I'd come back.
#11 My radio can't pick up KNBR unless I'm in a luxury suite.
#12 Every time I hear John Millers voice, I "kick high" and throw a Marichal - esque fastball.
#13 Number One goal in life; to "grab some pine...MEAT !".
#14 We need to scout the dodgers for their next series... against our church softball team.
#15 Must bring glove. To catch ball.
#16 Ready to organize mob to "deal with" next genius who grabs a ball in play.
#17 Hoping to get "Mic holding/grinning tips 101" lesson from Kruk & Kuip.
#18 Simply MUST discuss the nuances of "keeping the ball down" with Gary Radnich.
#19 I live in Sacramento, GET ME OUTTA HERE !!!
#20 My big chance to start a new life after faking heart attack...should the Giants..er.. not win.
#21 Mistakenly Krazy Glued gloves to BOTH hands. There's nothing else left for me....
#22 Hoping Lasorda will show up & get tossed early for disputing strike call on cerimonial first pitch.
#23 Planning on playing old recordings of Bonds HR's on loudspeaker into McCovey Cove and watch the confusion.
#24 After the Ump yells "Play Ball", strap myself in and watch the best damn show in town. My Giants kickin' dodger ass !!!
Thank you for your consideration.
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