Thursday, May 26, 2005

Why I should be going to the G'ints game...

To whom it may concern, here's my 24 reasons why I should be going to the Giants/dodgers game on Thursday, May 26th '05.(can you believe I did NOT win this contest ?)
#1 If that old S.F. "soup" rolls in I do a serviceable version of a foghorn.
#2 Had a premonition that I'm destined to push Michael Tucker from the path of a run-a-way trolley car in rightfield.
#3 Writing a book on heckling & need to get the Giants fans takes on just how much the dodgers "apply suction".
#4 Looking to find a new home for my Jose Uribe Baseball card collection.
#5 I'm hosting a bonfire at Willie Mays Plaza to dispose of all existing dodgers AND a's/Giants combo hats/gear.
#6 Hoping to pump Kruk for insight on the quality of Tyler Walker's sinking fastball.
#7 Want to see famous S.F. streakers for ideas on what to pierce next.
#8 Hoping to catch a glimpse of the elusive "North American Kuiper".
#9 Can't wait to take in the scent of freshly cut "grass" wafting in from Haight/Ashbury.
#10 Gave my word to Lou Seal that I'd come back.
#11 My radio can't pick up KNBR unless I'm in a luxury suite.
#12 Every time I hear John Millers voice, I "kick high" and throw a Marichal - esque fastball.
#13 Number One goal in life; to "grab some pine...MEAT !".
#14 We need to scout the dodgers for their next series... against our church softball team.
#15 Must bring glove. To catch ball.
#16 Ready to organize mob to "deal with" next genius who grabs a ball in play.
#17 Hoping to get "Mic holding/grinning tips 101" lesson from Kruk & Kuip.
#18 Simply MUST discuss the nuances of "keeping the ball down" with Gary Radnich.
#19 I live in Sacramento, GET ME OUTTA HERE !!!
#20 My big chance to start a new life after faking heart attack...should the
.. not win.
#21 Mistakenly Krazy Glued gloves to BOTH hands. There's nothing else left for me....
#22 Hoping Lasorda will show up & get tossed early for disputing strike call on cerimonial first pitch.
#23 Planning on playing old recordings of Bonds HR's on loudspeaker into McCovey Cove and watch the confusion.
#24 After the Ump yells "Play Ball", strap myself in and watch the best damn show in town. My Giants kickin' dodger ass !!!
Thank you for your consideration.

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Thursday, May 19, 2005

Leftist...racist. Racists...leftists.

Janice Rodgers Brown 's mind would be "a terrible thing to waste."
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Tuesday, May 17, 2005


The following is a report from Michael Is-a-symp.
Dateline: My makeshift bedroom
Today it was reported to me, Michael Is-a-symp, that a toddler has eaten a copy of Mein-Kompf. This information came to me through an intermediary who may or may not be the president of n.a.m.b.l.a.(north american man boy love association). Either way, myself, ted kennedy, al gore, charles rangle, pat leahy, jane fonda & the alleged afformentioned president of the child rapers association went ahead and gang raped a school bus full of pre-teens. Later today, my associates at the a.c.l.u.(also in on the above act of justice) will be filing suit in federal court against the participants in our little illustration of LIBERAL HEAVEN, for not complying and actually resisting the n.a.m.b.l.a. led attempt at retribution for the desicration of our sacred tomb by one of "their kind"(I heard they were the kids of men & women fighting the so-called "War on terror". American soldiers are the REAL terrorists, rape on my good buddies out there. Screw over all that is virtuous lest the "right side" win out). Some minors just never learn. Well, it's time for me to get back to hell so ol' Lucifer can pluck out one of my eyes and skull plook some more insanely evil, America/freedom/anything good or innocent hating, ideas into my black matter.
Don't fo'get, "We can't win until ALL virtue is destroyed". Long live the mainstream indoctri-Nation machine !!! Piece out homies...Mike


Thursday, May 05, 2005

"The New York Crimes"

More proof that the "New York Crimes" is just the same old pro-death org. that it always has been (with a few exceptions) And of course there's always good ol' Pulitzer winning Walter Duranty. Who could forget his great work on behalf of the forgotten genicide by Stalin ? Oh yeah, pretty much ALL of you.