BLOG OF ALLEGIANCE: What the Freak Was That !?!

Monday, October 16, 2006

What the Freak Was That !?!

"What the Freak Was That ?"

Ah yes, hi and howdy everybody and welcome to another edition of, WHAT THE FREAK WAS THAT !?! I'm your host Dink Turbindale, and this week on WHAT THE FREAK WAS THAT !?! .....John Mytha !....Nancy Pelosi !...and if there is still time left before the universe collapses in on itself, Pat Leahy !

Alright ! Well, let's get the show started with our first panelist, John Mytha !!! Congressman Mytha is a vervently anti-American white flag waver and will never pass up a chance to twist a terrible war time tragedy into an American attrocity deserving of the kind of national flagellation heretofore unseen since the conflict known as the "Viet Nam War". Yeah, yeah ! Let's here it for him everybody ! JOHN MYTHA ! Yes sir, John Mytha, reporting to go doody on Americans who are down.And all for his own political benefit. Welcome Congressman !

Mytha: America sucks ! America sucks everybody ! WE ARE THE PROBLEM ! The American fighting man IS the problem, NOT THE SOLUTION. Stop killing the Al Qeda freedom fighters ! FREE THE GITMO 14 !!!

Dink: Ah yes thanks Jack, you just have 'em eatin' outta your hands here at Sheehan City, Television Studios in Marin county but it's time to play, "WHAT THE FREAK WAS THAT !?!" As usual, ever since ABSCAM, any tape of you saying anything, mysteriously vaporizes after you've said it. I'm sure it's all part of that "Vast rightwing conspiracy" but I do believe I heard you say "It really makes me nervous that it looks like they(the Nazi GOP) tried to cover it up". "It" being the REPUBLICAN Mark Foley's recent democratic opportunity, um,er,uh haneous actions as an alledged human being. Congressman Mytha, WHAT THE FREAK WAS THAT !?!

Mytha: Yes Dink well let me explain myself. What I was attempting to convey was, this exposes the fact that the 'culture of corruption' has now mutated into 'the politics of perversion' and surely no republican page,whether current or former, will go untouched in my investigation and I promise you all, I"LL be doing the editing of THOSE tapes and depositions. But back to my statement, I was simply trying to contain the absolute giddyness I have been imersed in since this news came out but hot damn! Next to jumping the gun on calling those poor shlubs in the Marine Corps a band of bloodthirsty, coldblooded killers, this type of opportunity can almost make ya lose control of yer bodily functions. Wow! I'm just euphoric right now. Somebody pinch me !!!

Dink: Yeah well thanks Jack, it's time now to move on to our current champ, Nancy Pelosi ! Nancy is a non-housewife,non-housework doing anti-liberty facist who neuters men in her spare time.(Pro bono I might add) Yes, she just gives and gives! She gave much of her facial skin in advance of her own death among other things and she wants you to give your paycheck for her altruistic programs! She's, NANCY PELOSI !!! Take it away "San Fran Nan"

Nan: Thanks Dink. I thinks it's time for me to hand over my reign to someone else.Audience: "No Nancy ! We love you !!!" Nan: No No, there are so many other deserving contributors in the national effort to confuse and demoralize the American people that I can't, in good consience, continue to hold back the exposure of such fine obfuscators as Jack Mytha, yourself Dink and of course, virtually the entire democratic party and its sattelite franchises, Lindsay Graham, John McCain, John Warner, Link Chafey and that guy from Ohio,Voinovich or something, who cries at the mention of John Boltons name.

Dink: What a champ, what a champ ! You're still a winner in perpetuity in my book Nancy. I mean, your work to distort the N.I.E. alone is enough to put you in the WTFWT Hall of Fame. Lets here it for her folks !Now, I think we have something that you will all just absolutely love......Let me take you back....to a word..."Leaky !!!"Audience: ROAR ! ROAR ! HUZZAH etc.Dink: Yes, that's right, I'm towkin' 'bout the one and only Patrick Leahy !!! SENATOR !!!.........

The audience of the television juggernaut that is "What the frick was that !?!" was then treated to what can only be described as a nirvana inducing collection of statements against reality and utterly insane demands for "justice" in the treatment of illegal enemy combatants who break every rule of engagement by targeting and slaughtering innocents while simultaneously managing to put them up as human shields so as to further the cause of America hating defeatism. It was one for the ages. http://leahy.senate.gov/press/200609/092806c.html