Tuesday, March 21, 2006

21st Century report on WW II

Dec. 8 1944
Dateline: A hotel in Switzerland Today, after three years of Franklin Roosevelts "War Against Fascism", the groundwork for impeachment was believed to be started when a motion to censure Mr. Roosevelt was put forward by the opposition party. "This is a war that was made up in Warm Springs Georgia by a warmonger posing as our president" said Senator Tedward Drowner during a nationally broadcast radio speech from the floor of the senate. "Over two hundred thousand of your innocent children -who have nowhere else to go to make a living after this buffoon in the Whitehouse caused the worst economy in 50 years- have died trying to fight against both a country that NEVER attacked us and the imperial nation of Japan who was provoked into Pearl Harbor and would leave us alone if we would just stop fighting back". Senator Drowner then stood side by side with fellow party members Dink Turbin, Barely Freed(the only remaining former slave owner in the senate) and Clancy Verbosi to announce proudly and to much applause, that together they had "killed the 'War Mobilization and Reconversion Act of 1944'". Senator Drowner reiterated his oft stated belief that the "Pearl Harbor Commission" proved which is, Mr. Roosevelt had commited "high crimes & misdemeanors" when he chose to hire a really slow typist to translate the Japanese coded transmissions leading up to the alleged attack on Pearl Harbor as outlined in the Academy Award winning short, "Arizona, Deep-Six-Down", wherein Oscar winner Trifle Bore documented how Mr. Roosevelt didn't even get out of his wheelchair, run to the nearest machinegun turret and start blasting the Jananese Zeros, proving his obvious collaboration with the Regime that had lined his "Big Saki" buddie's pockets with lots of cash. It is not judged here as to the voracity of any or all of the above claims but since we'll never give front page attention to Mr. Roosevelt's response, what other conclusion can one come to ?
Combine this with the fact that former president Herbert Hoover has gone abroad to skewer Mr. Roosevelt as an incompitent, bloodthirsty, profiteer who's only interest is to fullfill his childhood fantasy to be a war hero draped in glory and you have a .3 % approval rating by the American people who have apparently grown weary of sacrificing there under educated, employment starved children to a war that is at best a boon to the military industrial complex(and "big saki").
Dateline: Warm Springs Georgia "No blood for Jews" a sign screamed out at the world surrounding Lindy Screedman, a young idealistic mother of 3 from Terre Haute Indiana. "Bring our kids home Mr. Roosevelt ! You don't know how it feels for your children to die for a lie !" she said to a large cadre of journalists and photograghers. "Leave the 'Nazi Freedom Fighters' alone before you force them to firebomb London again. Liberate the Japanese from your evil war machine Mr. Roosevelt, your war machine that slaughters and kills thousands of innocent kamakazi pilots by ramming your warships into there delicate, ricepaper covered fusilages....." It goes on & on like that constantly so when we need a "fresh" quote, we just unplug our ears and start scribbling.Miss Screedman will be fitting the crosses of a local veterans cemetery with "He Lied, I Died" t-shirts when interest in her current angle runs out.
Dateline: Hollywood The "Jitterbug, Not Bombs" concert to be held on May 31st has been bumped up to April 1st to accomodate the masses of Hollywood elites and entertainers who vowed to exit the country within 90 days of Mr. Roosevelts inauguration(they wanted to allow for his ill health to kill him as a prayer vigil to bring about his death was being held non-stop since election day and seemed to be coming along nicely). The lead act, Fare N. Dopelan rewrote his classic, "Welfare for the Socialist Worker, Man !" to include the line, "Pardon me comrad, is that a killer in the Whitehouse ?". Also, it is expected that Dark Fable(fresh off her "chopawangfromme" operation) and her lover, Mean Harlett, are going to introduce the new man in their lives.
In other news around the world: The reverberations are still emitting from former presidential candidate J. Algore Fulbright's speech in Austria last week where he told his Arian audience of the horrors their brother patriots had experienced in America when they were found under several harbors mining their own business. "They're rounding you up like ordinary Jews or Christians or something and then, after a kangaroo court, they hang your innocent compatriots !!!" Former Vice President Fulbright was later seen posing for pictures in front of several "dirty mennonites" swinging from a nearby peachtree, in lovely early blossom. As of yet, it appears only the Nobel commitee will step forward to recognize this maverick statesman.



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